My first semester at BYU we studied the story of Lehi's Journey into the Wilderness. To review, Lehi, a visionary prophet and dreamer, felt prompted to leave behind a lifetime of connections to Jerusalem. He was very wealthy, had very deep roots, and half of his family disagreed with him leaving. Some even called him crazy! However, he felt there was a greater purpose for his family outside of that city. We all know how that turned out. (if you don't, I urge you to read the Book of Mormon and find out).
Now before I continue, it needs to be mentioned that we know there are prophets and good people who STAYED in Jerusalem. They accomplished great things there and found worthy purpose in staying. We also know that Jerusalem continued to flourish in ways and became more worldly in ways. Its also the place where Jesus Himself came 600 years later. Jerusalem was the Holy City, The Choice Land, Zion, the place of Peace. Jerusalem was THE PLACE TO BE! Kind of like many of us see Provo.
However, God saw a greater purpose for Lehi, and his family left.
Six years ago, this story weighed heavily on my mind before I went out to sell alarms with Vision Security. I knew I needed to leave during that summer following that class. I knew that the Lord had purpose for me elsewhere. Eventually I was led to San Antonio where I was astonished to find some of the best Singles I've met to date. I also met one of my best friends, Mike Scott, who was introduced to the Gospel that summer, then came back to Provo with me that fall, went on a mission, and is one year happily married to his pregnant dream wife, who he met on an airplane; not in Provo.
In succeeding years I've left "The Scene" at times for different opportunities, and met some of my favorite people of different ages. My dreams have become more attainable because of the wide array people I've met. Many, if not most of those people, are not LDS. Some have been, such as one of my most cherished friends Christian Parker, who I met 3 years ago when I left to Tacoma/Seattle for a month before spending the rest of the summer in Provo training BYU's basketball team. That one month in Washington completely altered my future forever! So have the other months I've spent outside of Utah.
Most importantly, I've had missionary experiences. I speak Portuguese. I can communicate pretty well in Spanish. Many of you have multi-lingual talents and have served missions. What in the world can the Lord use those gifts for in Utah? I remember standing in a Best Buy in California once and overhearing a couple who struggled with their English. I recognized the accent and was able to help them out. Obviously they were shocked I know Portuguese and one thing led to another and now they know a little more about the LDS faith. Opportunities like that don't exist in Utah, they do almost EVERYWHERE else. Another experience has been meeting a hero of mine named Victoria. She lives in the suburbs outside of Philly and hires ONLY LDS nannies because years ago, some girl got the guts to leave Utah and nanny and live a higher standard. As Victoria and I have kept in touch, she continues to learn more and more about the church with each succeeding nanny. That first nanny is now married by the way.
SO, what about dating? OBVIOUSLY, there are close to a HALF MILLION single people in Utah, mostly LDS, looking for that special someone. The theory has proven successful for MILLIONS before us who have gone to school in Utah or moved to Utah for their professions. It will continue to yield marriages, no doubt. Yet, I've gathered that most of those relationships aren't by people sitting by the Belmont pool, playing volleyball at King Henry, or spending their weeks getting a tan at Seven Peaks. The successful relationships are forged by two people chasing their dreams, who happen to collide in pursuit of such dreams, and support one another in such quests.
I've learned that dating outside of Utah isn't as non-existent as people say it is. Sure, the numbers are fewer. There's a much lower concentration of LDS singles outside of Utah, duh. BUT... of those LDS Singles outside of Utah, are those pursuing their dreams in a Wilderness. They are forging their own trails and accomplishing great things no matter where they are. I've been impressed by them in my travels. There are recent converts, looking for support. What a HUGE opportunity for love! I know a guy who baptized his wife in California in his 30's after drawing a blank in Provo. I know a guy from Monticello who lived in Belmont and a lady from Orem who met in Dallas, TX, are now happily married and have two beautiful children. My own sister left Utah and married a guy she met IN UTAH, but reunited in Mesa, AZ.
Yes, "The Utah Summer Dream" is here. But, before citing that you're staying in Utah for "greater dating opportunities", I invite you to consider these 2 things:
First, there's more to life than dating and getting married. "Opportunity" presents itself in many ways, even when it doesn't make sense. Lehi was called crazy for leaving the "Land of His Inheritance." He became the Father of the Western Hemisphere's entire population for 2,000 years! The Lord has a purpose for you BEYOND your "inheritance" and Provo. Be faithful enough to ask the Lord what your purpose is. If it is to leave "Zion" take courage and take action. There's always a plane ticket that can get you back to Lake Powell, the Rex Real Estate barbecues and the 4th of July at the Social 7-11. Speaking of Rex Real Estate, their CEO, Utah's most eligible bachelor, just skipped Utah in grander pursuits. Think about it!
Second, your main purpose in life IS to get married. Be presentable. Keep in perspective what marriage is for... ITS FOR FOREVER! Sure, we find each other as eye candy by the pool, but Tinder does the same thing, right?
Guys, the ladies don't find a guy "eternally attractive" if he's laying by the pool and doing nothing that will provide for his future family or serving the world. I can promise this legion of returned missionaries you say you're waiting on wants more in a guy than bronze muscles and 800 Instagram followers! As my married friend Kellen says: "A girl who chooses who she dates because she knows a guy can provide for her isn't shallow; She's using common sense!"
Gals, the dudes might want a girl with a tan but if she's making less than the sum of her dropout-model lifestyle, apartment and dream car payment; or worse not even working, nor going to school; yet she goes to Vegas or other concerts every other weekend and pools out the rest of the week; We can do the math! You're not providing for yourself and that scares the dickens out of a man and he will run from you! I can't imagine anything more abhorrent. Do something with your life! It'll make you more "eternally attractive" and dating will come to you and it won't be dressed in a bikini or swim trunks.
Men and Women are that they might have joy; and how great shall be your joy if you shall bring one or many souls unto Christ by laboring all your days! (2 Nephi 2:25 and D&C 18:15,16)
If you're single and in Utah this summer, you better be doing something with your life! If you're not, use your talents, get out and serve the world!
